Another 42, another nature dance. Actually I am not just dancing in the nature, but also for the nature. Taking trees, plants, insects, animals – oh, yeah, today I saw kanja and podlasica – as audience, as partners. I take them as they are, these timeless creatures. Wiesel actually was looking at me from the other side of time. She had time. She was actually looking at me from the point of view of “Is he adversary or a friend?”. It is similar state when dancing. The dance is with-out time. You look to the audience from the other side of time, a no-time. And maybe also deciding weather the audience is adversary or a friend, a lover or a stranger. In more general terms, podlasica and dancer is detecting what state is the audience in.
But this is not what I wanted to write about. I wanted to write about fragamentation.
Today I joined forces with my partner Vilko. He went for a walk and I went along and when we found the spot that was inspiring, I decided to dance 42 there. Vilko showed me a small narrow valley hidden behind small hills. His presence and attention (he was not necessarily lending me his attention) augmented the what I feel for him. And so I surrendered to what this was bringing. At the same time, there were dead trees from recent severe žled. As it is sad situation to see broken giants, it is also magnificent as they keep their presence and it seems like they emit extra beauty as if they want to consume life till its very last drop of water and molecules of air. As these trees were lying there creating a vivid network of brenches, this together with Vilko’s presence created an environement of fragmantation. I surrendered to that.
The performing coming from it was fragmented beyond reperation, beyond being able to make any totality out of it, with it. So, I surrendered to that, too. And finally – hey, did you notice how long it took me! – I surrendered the dance itself to this environemnt and fragmentation.
The dance started to come in and out of “me”, fragmenting me with it, as it also did not have any totality neither was interested in it.
The intertwined trees and branches on the soil and grass in its untotality, offered me insight. This labyrith is eternal, on-going, smooth. Fragments without ruptures. That are “real” framgents. Fragments have no ruptured. Group of fragments have no ruptures. They are smooth reflective environment. And they fundtion like a cobweb. More you twist, jerk, resist, push away, more it consumes you, tearing you apart. More you are surrendering in terms of water, more is fun, playful. Here too, self is of self-refelction is gone, reflection is smooth, no rupture.
It was so outrageous this insight, it catapulted me (like a tensed web) into odd states of being. And performing.
And this is what I want at 42. I was being danced. And Vilko’s presence at floating attention added to no-time, untotal, fragmented catapult sensation.
Was it good in terms of (what I conceive of) art? No. It was excellent.